The warrior sat astride his pinto pony overlooking the valley. The wagon
traveled slowly and tortuously over the rocky, parched terrain below him. Had
the travelers been looking up they might have seen him silhouetted against the
clear, blue sky—the hair of both horse and man blowing in the breeze that
caressed the higher elevations. In the valley, no breeze moved at all. It was
only hot and dry.
Where had these people come from? Spirit Talker
wondered. The man had a woman with him, so maybe he was not hostile. Why were
they on Dinétah, Navajoland, and where did they plan to go? There were
no white settlements out here. The nearest town where the bilagaanas lived was
the Spanish settlement of Santa Fe.
He decided to follow them awhile to see what they did and where they camped
for the night. Perhaps then he could discern their ultimate destination or plans.
“Notah, I have a question to ask you. We’ve known each other for
almost three years now and in all that time, you have not mentioned your wife
or whether you ever intend to take another. May I ask why not?”
Notah was taken aback. Where had this question come from, and why now?
“JoAnna, I am surprised. Why should you want to know this thing?”
Taking a deep breath and gathering her courage, she answered, “Because
I am falling in love with you, and I want to know if you could love me back?”
It was like an arrow shot right into his heart. How did he answer that?
He took so long to answer that JoAnna began to feel like a fool and her eyes
filled with tears of humiliation and heartbreak.
The Navajo
believe that tears have words, and her tears were speaking loudly to him right
now. They spoke of hurt, pain, injustice, compassion, and of her love for him
and his people.
“JoAnna
you cannot mean this. I am Navajo. You are bilagaana. This is forbidden among
your people.”
JoAnna asked him, “Does love have a culture or color, Notah? Everyone
laughs and cries in the same language, is it any different with love?”
For all her casualness in their friendship, JoAnna doubted she had concealed
her true feelings from him. She knew she loved him with all her heart. If he
could not love her back, perhaps she could convince him to just let her stay
near him and his family and she would be content with that.
Notah felt a surge of joy within his heart. Her declaration of love left
him breathless and cracked open his hardened heart a little bit wider. He could
barely stand the hurt in JoAnna’s eyes. She had no idea how easy it would
be for him to love her – indeed, already did love her. But it went against
everything he had vowed. Besides that, he had nothing to offer her even if he
did declare his love.
“You should stay with your own people, JoAnna. Find a man among them
who will love you and give you children.”
“Your people have become my people. I cannot go back to the greedy men
and narrow-minded, bigoted women of my race who cannot see beyond the color of
a person’s skin in order to judge their worth.
“All I’m asking is that you just let me stay near you and help
with the children and old ones. You have given my life purpose and direction.
I’ve learned so much from the Diné. The will to Walk in Beauty;
the grace to accept things that cannot be changed and still go on…to strive
to bring Harmony out of this hell-hole here. You have awakened all the feelings
a woman should have for the man she loves. I never thought I would experience
them because I’m considered an old maid now by my people because I have
not married before this.”
Then sighing audibly, she added, “ No one would have me anyway with
my deformed foot.”
Notah’s heart turned over in his chest. She thought she would be rejected
because of a foot turned inward; that no one would see the beauty of her spirit,
her face, her skin, her hair, and her tender sweet ways.
“Ah, JoAnna, a scar of the body cannot wholly destroy beauty. Only a
scar on the spirit can do that. You are lovely by anyone’s standards. And
you are still young; you have plenty of time to meet someone.” |